It’s another one of those posts.
I’d like to point out that, seeing as I did confess to an addictive personality, that at the time of writing this I am sober as a judge. Minus like two glasses of wine but believe me; that’s not the issue.
For the last year, the notion of a spirit guide has both captivated and cramped my mind. I can’t begin to tell you how frustrating it is to read things that say, “Your spirit guide is trying to communicate with you too..,” as if it’s this endless tragic love story of two ships passing in the night.
I’d try so many different ways to really connect to this, as I imagined it, incredible energy that would send sensations all over my body. I expected my eyes would bulge, my throat would constrict and I was fully up for the possibility of wetting myself. I’d likely see kaleidoscopic mandalas and hear ethereal whispering.
Well, as so many other people will say, “spirit is very subtle,”. It’s never going to be this siren that goes off. It’s a silent exhalation of breath amongst a storm with a name like Brian or Phil.
In the back of my mind, I told myself that if I were to be feeding the old addiction monster; my spirit guide would never be able to communicate in the ways I want. I bound myself tighter and tighter in this belief to the point where I probably made it so.
The second then that I declared myself no longer doing horrible things, I fully expected a full body manifesting angel to be before me with cake and a card to celebrate me. Nope.
What I did experience instead were “buzzings”. These weird sensations similar to what a circuit might feel when it suddenly shorts. A fizz of sensation in my entire body.
I now believe this to be my energy trying to sit comfortably around me and struggling as my whole system tried to shift back to working like a “normal” person. It couldn’t attune to my inner discomfort perhaps and instead shot out of me? I don’t know.
Because of these buzzings, I popped out of my body A LOT. Feeling exhausted as I was no longer running on the bad stuff, I spent a lot of time lounging on my bed. My whole body would be being pushed and pulled energetically. Rushes and waves and spins and bursts of sensation.
Before I knew it, I’d be floating up and out and down on to my bedroom floor. Blind but fully aware. I felt the carpet of my bedroom beneath my hands. I could lift myself up off of the floor and, after some initial challenge, speak and hear myself speaking out loud.
I remembered this audiobook I listened to and how the author describes demanding “Clarity now,” aloud to trigger improved astral senses. I did this and then panicked about what I might see so plunged back in to my physical body.
Another time, I did the same and managed to see somewhat. I also flew above a forest and encountered two rather unscrupulous chaps. On all occasions though, ultimately my own fear would snap me back.
I want to stress that, for me, astral projection feels just as real as being in your normal life. There was no difference bar I couldn’t see. Like me being blind (yet conscious of the fact I’d just floated out of my body like a leaf) in my day to day life. It’s not the same as a lucid dream at all.
So that was cool as fuck.
Now the spirit guide. So, I’m super relaxed and not thinking about how relaxed I was. I was that relaxed that I wasn’t even conscious of how relaxed I was. You get what I’m saying? It’s that knowing and feeling of relaxation rather than that repeated statement of thought, “Ahhh, I can relax for a bit now. How lovely,”.
In this state, I decided to attune to spirits by simply listening out for them!
An incredible pressure surrounded me and I saw a slight blue flash. Then the pictures came.
I’ll respect the identify of my spirit guide for now but I know that he was a pretty witty spirit! The sudden responses that came like thoughts to me were honestly proper banter. It was beyond what I would expect a spirit to be like and it was way funnier than I could ever hope to be.
The overall feeling though was joyful and uplifting. It felt very much like this was an important being to know and be speaking to.
And so, I encourage you to keep trying if you haven’t yet met your own. Absolutely don’t think that I or anyone else is an expert on YOUR spirit skills and YOUR spirit guide. You’re the fountain of allI knowledge about your own spirituality – you’ll know what to do always.